Archives for the month of: October, 2010

The following is a summary of the highlights that stood out for me from the Teaching  “The Watchtower” on the New Message from God website listed at the bottom. These phrases struck me in helping me become more clear and present, to be able to see and know in a very simple way – devoid of complexity and speculation. It says…

If you are not present to others or to life you are:

1. Lost in your thoughts

2. Hidden in self-defensiveness

3. Covered by suppressed feelings and emotions

4. Buried in reactions to the past

So this calls me to really look and explore my own self and what is preoccupying me and keeping me from being present.

It goes on to say that… “Essentially, if you cannot be present to yourself, to others or to life, it means you are caught up in your own thoughts and in your own condition.” This for me, is so true. When I am preoccuppied with how I look, or how things are or what others might think, or I’m making mental associations, etc then I am not present…

To break free:

1. Explore your repressed feelings

2. Open the doors to your inner world – let the demons out, let the darkness out, turn on the lights in the dark recesses of your mind

3. Become aware of your own experiences – old regrets, failed love, inability to communicate, failed expectations, dissapointments, upsets and problems with people

So this calls me to do an inventory of myself, my past and what has influenced me and is influencing me now so that I can be more clear and present. I have found this process of self-awareness to be ongoing over time and with time I face new stuff that needs resolution. When I first began this process a couple years ago I found myself cringing at many things about my life and my behavior. But I have also found that looking and facing what is there is the only way to become free from all of the stuff… “All this is choking you, filling up your mind, backing up your mind.”

And as I practice Steps to Knowledge and study the teachings these things become apparent. They just start to surface. It is said that in order to find stillness we must go through our mind. And over time I have found that there is less clutter in my mind as I look and penetrate what is there with as much honesty and courage as I can muster. The beauty of this is becoming apparent to me as I progress…

As you practice and study Steps to Knowledge these things flow into your awareness.

1. Do not suppress them any more, do not run away – face them

2. Experience these things so you are not so afraid of them

3. Communicate and resolve old misunderstandings with others if needed

4. Objectively examine what could not be expressed or experienced with your family and others

5. Clean and clear away old negative emotions

“This reconciliation must happen.” I think of the following as the promises that are born from doing this work…  

1. It restores your mind from what is oppressing you

2. It opens you to the ability to discern your experience and to determine how you want to communicate with people

3. Self trust returns to you

4. You appreciate your life, even your mistakes

5. You gain a greater value and wisdom from these experiences

As I have worked and studied each Step as it is given and do the additional work that arises along the way I experience increasing clarity, the ability to be more present with others, to listen more deeply, hear what is really being said, see what is occuring within myself and others and in the larger world around me. It is a great teaching in becoming clear and present to yourself and others. It has yielded greater rewards than I had intially thought possible. It is a work in progress. 

From: The Watchtower, February 17, 2009, As revealed to Marshall Vian Summers in Boulder, CO.

 

http://newmessage.org/special-teachings/watchtower.php

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This particular group of Steps is very timely for me and is perfect for what I am facing. I am facing my error and failure. Within this group of Steps the issue of error and failure is a strong theme. There are a few phrases in this step that I have had to read and reread. I’m not sure I have completely penetrated the full and clear gift that these statements provide but I do feel change taking place.

“Do not attempt to justify your errors by projecting blame upon yourself or by accusing life of not giving you what you need.”

Apparently assigning blame and responsibility is meaningless. So when I feel the weight of an error what do I do with it? In Step 26 it states, “It is pointless to justify error, but error can bring you to value truth… It is not merely for you to forget your errors, for you cannot do that. It is not merely for you to justify your errors, for this will make you dishonest. It is not merely for you to look upon your errors as pure service to you, for they have indeed been painful.” It goes on to say that we must recognize that error is error and to learn from it and allow error to bring us to Knowledge – its only possible value. Looking at error is not for the purpose of self-condemnation, which is where I tend to go, but to really derive value from it. Really “get” that error is costly. “Get” the great need for Knowledge. “Get” that there is no justification in failing to reclaim Knowledge – that Knowledge is really the only answer.

In Step 246 it states that all of the problems of the world can be solved without condemnation, for without condemnation all problems in the world will be solved. This implies that condemnation is a big part of the problem. We condemn ourselves, we condemn others. I have been afraid to look at what I have done or not done. But I have been quick to look at what someone else has done or not done. So if I don’t look within this perpetuates a disassociated state. Is it uncomfortable to look? Yes, indeed, it is uncomfortable. Sometimes I have found it very uncomfortable. Is it uncomfortable to not look? For me it is becoming far more uncomfortable to not look because then it is never resolved, there is still a black mark against me from which I am hiding and is a constant source of pain and discomfort. Is it work? Oh, my goodness. This is the most challenging work and the most rewarding work that I have ever undertaken.

The generosity and compassion that is extended through this Teaching is beginning to work its way into the places that have been stuck, hidden or unavailable to me previously. It opens me and shakes loose those patterns and habits that do not work. It softens me to myself and extends softness to others. It is a great opening. It is like an unfreezing, a thawing that is not without discomfort but begins to allow movement and fluidity and greater freedom.

“Let this be a day to celebrate freedom. Let this be a day to affirm that you are blameless, though you are a student of Knowledge.” There is apparently no justification for failing to reclaim Knowledge. It is the only way through. It is the greatest gift and the greatest freedom. I pray to really “get” this right.

“Let your need for Knowledge not be underestimated. Thus, you need not respond with condemnation or judgment upon those who fail, but realize their great need and your great need. This will only confirm, then, the depth with which you must now prepare yourself. For you prepare yourself not only for your own advancement and fulfillment, but for the advancement and fulfillment of humanity. This is no idle claim or statement. It is absolutely the truth. For every step you take towards Knowledge, you give your accomplishment to the world, and you lessen the burden of all who struggle with their own fantasies and sense of failure.”

When others fail, I am reminded of the need for Knowledge. When I fail, I am reminded of the need for Knowledge. When I look at my life honestly and review choices I have made I see failures. I see places where I made decisions without Knowledge or with ignoring the signs Knowledge gave me. This step has helped me look more closely at the errors and the cost of the those errors. These errors were costly not only to myself but for the other people involved and even others I did not know at the time. Opportunities missed. Rendezvouses unmet. Wrong engagements. It is not easy to look at but it is necessary in order to move forward with clarity regarding where I have been, where I am at and where I have yet to go.

In this step it states that your life becomes your teaching. For me this means that my life can now teach me instead of being a source of regret. It shows me where not to go, where not to make the same mistakes and the great importance of the need to find and follow Knowledge. Beyond a teaching for myself, my life can potentially become a teaching for others. Others have also made mistakes. It is possible to look at these mistakes bravely and become free of the self-condemnation associated with them. It does not excuse or dismiss the error but it brings error into service. It drives home the great need for Knowledge. It is possible no matter where we have been or how we have failed to now respond to Knowledge and make the necessary changes to follow and fulfill our responsibilities in being here in the world at this time. It is a reckoning.

Because this step addresses the failure of others and the need to not respond with condemnation or judgment towards them, it also speaks to the fact that this is extended to me as well. I am not unlike those who have failed or who are still failing to respond. In the past I have failed to live a deeper life beyond seeking security through ambition, wealth, romance, or through fortifying strongly held ideas and beliefs. Today a greater opportunity is available.

This step states that as I become strong with Knowledge my life then demonstrates the presence of Knowledge in the world which is the presence of God.

“In your advancement, all human capabilities are furthered, all human liabilities are dissipated and that which is most true and genuine in individual human life in the world is exalted. …Therefore, another’s failure is a call for your involvement with Knowledge. It is a call for your advancement and strengthening because you have come into the world to give. …Realize the need for Knowledge within their lives and within your life. They are committing errors to spark your commitment to Knowledge. …They are teaching you to value the valuable and to release the meaningless. …As you value Knowledge, the result of your value will be given back to them in return, and they will be strengthened and honored by your accomplishment.”

Freedom is available to those who live with Knowledge and we are all honored when others are strong. Others are honored when we are strong. Knowledge is the means and Steps to Knowledge is the preparation. May I remember the great need for Knowledge today and every day.

 

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