Archives for the month of: June, 2010

Facing the small problems of life in a consistent and emotionally balanced way has been challenging this past week. Change can throw me out of balance and the small problems start to look like really big problems. I had a day where I was initially all over the map emotionally but was then able to remember to calm myself down, think more objectively and listen to what I was feeling. It took some time and attention but I regained some equilibrium.

I think this is what this Step is talking about. Maintaining stability during change and making decisions is what I am working toward.

Listening to Knowledge within me during emotional turbulence was difficult. I had a few days to come to some semblance of certainty before I had to make a final decision on a life change. This time allowed me to put the skills to work that I have gained through this spiritual practice. Stillness, listening, rethinking.

Another thing I have learned is to check out a decision both ways. State what I intend to do and wait. State the opposite and wait. Listen. What is my body telling me? How do I feel? What are my impressions? What are my preferences? Are my preferences impacting my ability to see, know and act according to what is best in this situation?

“Practice consistency today regardless of what is occurring within you or without. This consistency represents a Greater Power within you. This consistency will give you certainty and stability in the face of all disturbances, in the face of all external events and in the face of all emotional states within you This consistency will stabilize and balance you and in time will bring everything into right order within you.”

So, as the emotional dust settled and I practiced these skills and trusted the deeper Wisdom within from Knowledge I understood what course to take. It is not the course I thought I was going to take. Listening to Knowledge is an act of faith. It is not about what I think or want; it is about what is indicated from within – beyond my personal mind, beyond my hopes, fears, plans and wishes.

So the decision is made. I do not know the outcome. But I know from previous experience that not listening to my Inner Guidance – Knowledge – has cost me much in the past. I have learned this through direct experience. Today I am willing to listen. I am willing to follow. Even if that means completely changing direction. Even though this direction change is the right change I still do not know what this will mean.

I no longer have a plan. I am more comfortable with this uncertainty. I trust God’s plan to unfold as I take each step, check it out, adjust, then take another step.

I will be consistent today.


Step136 My Purpose is to Reclaim My Knowledge and to Allow it to Express Itself in the World.

Reclaiming and expressing Knowledge in the world. This is the world I have come to serve. Wow. I sometime ask… What else do I need to learn? What else do I need to be aware of?

Then I am lead in a certain direction. Right now the focus seems to be on learning about the mental environment and the physical environment. Specifically influence in the mental environment and the greater capacities of the deeper mind – Knowledge and the limits of the physical environment.

The New Message states that the only part of us that is truly free from influence is Knowledge. That is it. Our personal minds can learn to become aligned with Knowledge in time. But alone, my personal mind can be manipulated by those who are stronger and more concentrated. I used to think I was stronger in this area than I really am.

Being with someone who is more focused, regardless of whether that focus is for my benefit or not, can and has influenced me. I can think of times when I have been influenced by someone when I have been less certain and less convicted in my position. I have experienced this. I have learned to never underestimate the power of the mental environment.

We each have Knowledge within us. It is our purpose to reclaim this Knowledge. I must exercise my conviction and my inherent strengths embodied within my deeper mind; my Knowledge. This is our spiritual gift.

“People everywhere have great spiritual gifts that can enable them to see and to know clearly. These gifts are needed now. They need to be recognized, employed and shared freely.” p. 13. Allies, Book One.

The practice of Steps to Knowledge provides the preparation and the ability to recognize, employ and share these gifts. It is so needed right now. We are far less likely to be influenced in the mental environment when we reclaim Knowledge.

I recently learned that science has determined that only four to seven percent of the universe is made of physical matter. Four to seven percent. That’s it. That’s not very much. However, our current scientific method of determining what is real rests on the premise that physical matter is the basis for all reality. Since physical matter comprises only four to seven percent of the universe that leaves a great deal that is not currently defined, recognized or understood.

Just because it is not defined, recognized or understood does not mean it does not exist or is not experienced. We might not yet accept it or understand it. We might have even experienced it but dismissed it because it did not fit into this paradigm. Clearly the mental environment is not matter, but yet we do indeed experience it. We have probably all had the experience of walking into a room and knowing something was wrong. This is a direct experience. Very real. Very palpable. No physical matter involved. We really need to expand our perception of ourselves, consciousness, the universe and ourselves in the universe.

Knowledge is vast, it is something that one can feel and experience. Unfortunately, it has been lost to most of us who have been steeped in this pragmatic matter-focused world view.

Knowledge is part of what exists within the other ninety-three to ninety-six percent of reality. It is not something that can be quantified by our existing scientific method yet it has been known and experienced by others throughout history. Knowledge brings us out of the trappings of the personal mind. It is what can save us.

Knowledge can lead us to greater awareness and understanding. Knowledge is an experience that can be reclaimed. It is mysterious. We can’t nail it down. But we can listen and become still. In this stillness comes greater awareness and clarity.

So, I practice and am thankful for this gift… today my purpose is to reclaim Knowledge – and as I reclaim Knowledge then Knowledge can express itself… in not just four to seven percent of the world… but in one hundred percent of the world and beyond.

I think back over my life and see how many times I consciously tried to define purpose for myself. I would look at people or at a career and say to myself “That looks like a good way to live. I’ll try that.”

I was searching for a way of being in the world that worked based on what looked like it worked for other people. I tried many different paths, jobs, modes of dress and expression. Nothing seemed to really work for me for very long. I also found that it really didn’t work for them either. It was never as satisfying as it appeared from a distance.

It was like trying on different hats. There are so many ways to live in the world. Much of it I tried. It was always disappointing. It did not lead me to a place of inner strength or certainty. There was always something missing.

It is refreshing to know that I do not have to define my purpose for myself. There is still the impulse to do this at times. But I bring myself back to Knowledge and following this path. I am beginning to really know that my purpose is already defined. It just needs to be unearthed. I am beginning to have a direct experience of certainty and increasing trust of Knowledge within me. Knowledge will lead me where I need to go to express this purpose.

“Purpose is something you will understand as you climb higher on the mountain of life. As you gain a greater vantage point, you will understand more of the journey itself, by looking behind and by being increasingly able to anticipate what is up ahead. Purpose is realized by taking the journey. Purpose is something that is waiting for you to discover. Your purpose now it to prepare. It is not to make wonderful definitions for your life. It is not to justify your errors. Purpose is a process; it is not a definition.” p. 47-52. Greater Community Spirituality.

Such a promise this holds for each of us. As I engage in the study and practice of Steps to Knowledge I leave behind old ideas and ways of being in the world that really did not work. As this happens I find a greater more comfortable way of being in the world.

“How do you know that you are engaged in true preparation? Because you are giving yourself to something that you cannot control and you cannot understand, but which you find to be increasingly beneficial as you proceed.” p. 53 Greater Community Spirituality.

This speaks so clearly to the experience of this preparation. Today I will not define my purpose for myself. What a blessing. What a gift.

Learning to be free. So much to undo and so much to learn all at the same time.

Reviewing and rethinking my personal past. Understanding and experiencing my past from a new perspective. Gaining strength in the present. Preparing for the future.

Each step still a bit wobbly. But I keep going back to Knowledge, to stillness, to the Source from which I came. Learning to be in the world differently. Authentically. Realistically.

“Your independence from the past – your past judgments, past associations, past pains, past wounds and past difficulties – gives you independence in the present. …to enable you to join meaningfully in relationship. …You can do nothing in the world without relationship.”

There is also a statement that comes from a different step (Step 241) in Steps to Knowledge but I include it here because is provides a very hopeful and loving perspective of error and redemption. “…the sinful are not punished but are attended to. The wicked are not sent to hell but are prepared for Heaven,”

When I err and live in opposition to Knowledge I am in hell already. We punish ourselves – sometimes relentlessly – we do not need more punishment. I need freedom from my past error so that I may join with purpose and meaning. …I accept my past as a demonstration of life without Knowledge (Step 28) and I accept that Knowledge can be reclaimed. This is freedom of a greater sort.

This step speaks to freedom enabling us to join meaningfully in relationship. Not for a temporary thrill or a spike in momentary happiness but for reclamation and contribution to humanity and a world in great need.

Let me learn to be free so that I may join.

Now here is a step in which I have made numerous and serious mistakes.

I wanted to have a marriage but was not really ready for it. I have seriously tried to make this work and I was not successful and it was heartbreaking and very disappointing at times. I thought having this in my life would bring many things to me. Companionship, social acceptance, stability, fulfillment.

It was not fulfilling. The relationships were strained and did not provide what I had hoped. I wondered why so many others seemed able to have this and I was not.

Why strive for relationships in the world when genuine relationships will come to you as you are prepared? To understand this, you must have great faith in the power of Knowledge within yourself and within others. As this awareness grows, the basis for your striving and desperate pursuits will fall away, making true peace and accomplishment possible for you.”

What I was searching for was a deep meaningful connection with another. Romance in itself does not create meaning. It does not create connection. A relationship based on romance does not create these things. Meaning, direction and purpose must come from within and be prompted by Knowledge. Not by my desires, beliefs, cultural conditioning or the expectations of others.

Now I see relationships of this nature are not intended for me. I accept this. I no longer seek romance. I seek something deeper. This Teaching is intended for me and provides the depth, meaning and purpose for which I was searching. However ill-defined my contribution is within it. Right now my contribution is practice. My contribution is in gaining strength in Knowledge. It can be a messy process. It can be confusing. There is much to undo. But for me it is also very rewarding and compelling and provides more than a romantic relationship ever did or could.

You do not need to seek for relationship. You need only give yourself to your preparation and have confidence that people will come to you when you need them. This will require that you assess your needs in contrast to your wishes. If your wishes do not represent your genuine needs, then you will confuse your life terribly. You will place a burden upon yourself and upon those with whom you are engaged that can only oppress them, and you as well. Without this oppression, people will be free to come to you as you truly need them.”

So I practice. I settle into my current solitary life. I look. I listen. I change.

Relationships will come to me when I am prepared.

Two 30 minute stillness meditations today.

What do I need to learn from this step?

My teachers are with me. God’s emissaries. The Angelic Presence. The Unseen Ones. It is a presence that can be felt. I connect with my Teachers through Knowledge within me. Through stillness. It is within. Not out there. I can not comprehend what this means through my intellect alone. My mind can speculate but it is the experience of Knowledge and my Teachers that holds true promise.

Before learning of and studying the New Message I explored many different spiritual paths. None truly fit. But I tried and in my misunderstanding I thought I could somehow “transcend” my body. I believed that spiritual connection happened somewhere above me or out there somewhere. I believed and hoped that it would provide some sort of escape from the harshness of the world. But this belief held no real sense of Self. I found it confusing.

Connection with my Teachers does come from another source but a Source that I am intimately connected with right here within me. It happens within my physical vehicle – my body, and my mental vehicle – my mind. It is a mysterious connection but it is also very practical.

It is practical in that it brings me into greater relationship with the world and others. Instead of separating me further from the world or “transcending” the world it brings me in direct service to the world. This practice grows me. It leads me to make changes in my thinking and behavior. It grows my experience of being in the world and seeing the world and my role in it with increasing clarity. It is fluid and responsive. It is compassionate and realistic. It is loving and very practical. It is grounding.

I do not fly around having some mystical or fantastic experience like I mistakenly thought I would and is taught in come circles. It settles itself within me. I settle down. It brings a deep abiding strength. It brings me into direct relationship with myself, others and the world. Albeit a very different relationship than I had imagined – it is a serious and important relationship – a meaningful relationship however ill-defined it is at this time. It is a process. It is a journey. And the gifts are given along the way.

My Teachers are with me. I will be with them.

The beginning paragraph of this step holds a statement of promise: as I practice these steps consistently and openly I have an opportunity to experience increased certainty and faith and decreased unnecessary fear. It is through my relationship with and direct experience of Knowledge and my Inner Teachers that make this possible.

Facing what needs to be faced reduces my fear and provides an opening to go deeper. Settling in deeper I have a more direct experience of my Teachers and of Knowledge. Actual experience. Practice in listening and following and applying the Steps in my daily life builds the confidence that this step talks about.

I recently stumbled upon a new blog site. Intervention Watch. A link is posted here.

This is such important information to get out there. I am overcoming my hesitation in talking about and posting things like this. I took the dive a while back and shared a bit of a UFO sighting story that occurred when driving with 3 others friends many years ago. I got a response from a childhood friend. Around the same time period she and her sister witnessed a UFO and were frightened by it, as was I. So that is 6 people including myself from the same small town.

This is important. What is happening in the Universe and right here on Earth is a big part of this Spiritual Teaching. It confirms that we are not alone in the Universe or in our own world. We are unprepared and vulnerable. This is the preparation.

I am becoming more brave about speaking about this. I had to work through my own fear before hand. The fear was tremendous when I initially started to read and search out more information about UFOs and what there presence here means. There is a lot of good information to be found through books, videos and websites provided by very brave and credible people. These people are the Galileo’s and trail blazers of our time.

This is the world I have come to serve and my Teachers are with me. I need not fear. I will listen to Knowledge today. I am responding. I am gaining strength and confidence.

We have strong allies in the Universe. There are greater forces for good. I align myself with those who are reclaiming and contributing Knowledge on a daily bases.  I bring myself back to alert stillness and observation repeatedly throughout the day. Seeing what is there as an objective observer provides clarity. I am able to be more present.

In The Allies of Humanity, Book Two, it states… “You cannot have a fanciful, romantic view of life in the Universe if you are to understand it and prepare for it accordingly. You must have wisdom and sobriety. You must be without self-deception in this matter… How will you overcome and offset this influence in your life?… The trust must come from a deeper understanding.” p. 24-25.

This understanding comes through this inherent Inner Guidance, for me it is a feeling I experience in my body. It has warned me with feelings of foreboding and restraint. A sinking feeling in my gut. It has confirmed things with a rush of energy like “the chills.”

Knowledge is not simply a great potential that lives within you. It is the most vital element that can secure your freedom and maintain it, both now and in the future.” p. 79, Allies, Two.

Only concern that your Knowledge is being violated will emanate from Knowledge, and then only to indicate that you need to reassess your actions and ideas. Knowledge has a self-correcting principle. That is why it is your Inner Guidance. If you are going against your Knowledge, you will be ill at ease with yourself, and this will give rise to anxiety.” Step 128, Steps to Knowledge.

Why so much rejection over an encounter that everyone really considers to be very possible? Yet when it is actually accounted for, you will see a great deal of denial.” p. 97, Allies, Two.

Various opinion polls show that 50-76% of people from various countries believe in UFOs and extraterrestrial life. But yet people, like myself, are hesitant to speak about it. Why so much hesitation? Ridicule. Fear. Anxiety. Denial.

…you must confront this within yourself. The inability or unwillingness to do this is really the source of all human ignorance and presumption regarding humanity’s place in the Universe and regarding the reality of the extraterrestrial Intervention that is occurring in the world today.” p. 99, Allies, Two.

It was not easy to face these things. It initially made me very uncomfortable. And at times I can still become fearful. But I did face it and so must more of us. This is the greatest turning point in history and we must prepare wisely. This is the preparation.

It is the awakening of the individual that is the promise for humanity. My Teachers are with me. I need not fear.

Getting even with God. Trying to make separation work. Being angry about being in a separated state. This step takes some penetration to even begin to understand. I don’t think I got close to understanding it the first time around. I’m just beginning to penetrate this Step.

I think about how angry I was at times in my life and took that anger out on the environment and the people closest to me. How angry I have been at being here in a body. Angry with my body and not treating it well. Angry with certain people, my circumstances, the difficulties and the struggles.

“Do not try to get even with God by being a miserable person… by making the world destitute… by refusing to love and accept yourself… by ruining your relationships for your own selfish purposes.”

Wow. Selfish purposes. My relationship with nature, the world and others. My relationship with my mind and body. My relationship with God.

Trying to make separation work and being angry and disappointed when it doesn’t and then becoming destructive.

“Therefore accept that you have lost the battle against God. In your defeat is your greatest victory… Do not try to get even with God today by reinforcing an idea about yourself based solely upon error and assumption…”

By going deeper within to the source of Spiritual Power I can look at myself and the world with more objectivity, more compassion, more understanding. Trying to get even with God is a sad desperate situation. It leads to more of the same.

I will remember to listen deeply today. Watch, listen. Slow down. Be present. Be still. Work with it.

“The mind is fixed in a certain structure until it is utilized for other purposes. Do not accept this structure as your reality… it is a structure you have imposed upon it (the mind). Its real inward harmony and nature seek only to be expressed.”

Being objective with my mind, beliefs, ideas, assumptions. Looking at them. Observing them. Going deeper. Joining with my True Self. Utilizing my mind differently, as a vehicle for the expression of Knowledge. It is not about glossing over what is there. It is facing it, not judging it and really feeling the impact of whatever discomfort, error, etc is there and then making the necessary adjustments and changes.

Facing it lessens its hold on me. To go to a deeper source I must go through my own mind. I must see what is there in order to work with myself and others effectively, compassionately, objectively.

Today I will not try to get even with God.

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